博客
Wiki
NYC Craigslist
Introducing a New Person Into Your Life
On Codependency And Discovering the Obvious
The New Work/life Balance Struggle
How My Mom Helped Me Lose My V-Card
How To Have Better Experiences
News Flash: Sex is a Distraction
The Subtle Allure of A Life More Ordinary
The Irrelevance of Sexual Compatibility!
Me & the Great Online Dating Experiment
A few days ago, a 30-something coworker shared with me some frustrations his 30-something friends had been dealing with. The economy had shaken their relationships and marriages — men were out of work, women were working, wives were making more than the hubbies, hubbies were now babysitting the kids (or at least that’s how it felt to them) — and there was anger and resentment all the way around.
In other words, relationships were crumbling (and, he didn’t say this but I’ll bet it’s true — no sex was happening. Which is such a pity when you’re in your 30s!)
These economic times are hard on couples. Even in the best of times, once you’ve been with someone for a while, you tend to forget about all their good qualities — which are all you can see in the beginning — and focus on the bad stuff, the ways in which you’re disappointed in him or her. Now, there are so many people walking around feeling like
failures.
This makes me sad — after all, wasn’t this someone you once fell madly in love with?
But he changed!
Yeah, well change happens. Can you handle it?
But how?
Maybe like this: A few years ago I was
involved with a group that explored
compassion, forgiveness and understanding of our past so we can break free of all the bad crap ingrained in us and just move the f@#k on! I won’t go too deeply into it because it kind of reeks of all that New Agey BS and you’ll just chalk it up to an Only in Marin thing. But it isn’t.
We were all strangers in the beginning, but after some time together, we got to know a lot more about each other — good qualities and not so good qualities — but we learned compassion for those differences. Some friendships were formed, but even if they didn’t, there was an undeniable bond among us.