Trust Your Animal Instincts
Dear Bitter Single Guy: I’m a girl with a weird issue. My boss (who I work very closely with) acts infatuated with me - he takes me out to expensive restaurants, acts funny if he’s standing close, gets insanely jealous if other men look at me, etc. But he’s gay- he has a boyfriend. Do I ignore it - is he just confused? I know I am. — Getting Mixed Signals
Dear GMS: Animals. The Bitter Single Guy has to remind you that we’re all just animals, and as such we come pre-packaged with instincts. We’ve worked hard as a species to pretend that we’re all reasonable and logical and stuff and for that reason we should ignore our animal instincts.
But GMS if it feels like he’s infatuated with you, if it feels like he’s putting on the moves, if it feels like he’s creepily jealous of other guys; then he is. The BSG doesn’t really know what to make of the gay thang, his understanding is that coming out of the closet and living the gay life takes greater effort than living the safe hetero-life, but in the 21st century the BSG supposes he can imagine someone having to come out of the closet as a straight guy. There’s room for everyone, yes?
So the BSG’s advice is to create a firm and professional boundary between you and your amorous boss because really; nothing good can come of this. The BSG will say however, that if you can set a good boundary that doesn’t make you feel like you’ll be the target of an imminent sexual orientation breakdown, then having a gay man take you to expensive restaurants can be awesome given that your average straight man probably considers Outback Steakhouse the penultimate dining experience.
But you and the BSG both know that getting involved with your boss, gay or straight, is the quickest way to find yourself looking for a job with a broken heart. Boundaries, GMS…boundaries.